Hacks to Clear Anger
I really struggled with anger throughout my life. I didn’t know what to do with my fire. So every time I had a big challenge in my life I would get super fired up, but not in a healthy way. I was definitely passionate and wanted to help myself and others, but it just came out in a negative way, mostly anger.
It was a problem not only because that anger wasn’t benefiting me but because it separated me from others. It’s not about negatively portraying anger: we all have emotions and it’s important to let them flow. When we try to only be “love and light,” we only make things worse. We become dishonest about where we are at and how we feel. We become disconnected.
There and then, the problem was that I was letting anger overtake my whole life. Instead of trying to chase that emotion away, I decided to observe it. I went deep into meditation and simple but efficient breathwork. I started to see how my thoughts started to kick in when I was faced with something I labelled as negative or challenging. By developing and using the Quantum Flow Method more and more, I was able to both observe my immediate reaction but also to keep my nervous system calm.
I wasn’t triggered anymore. Of course, that has taken a really long time, especially since anger was really a deep pattern I was born with. I threw tantrums as a child and they didn’t go away as I grew up – they just morphed into a new, angry expression. I still didn’t know what to do with my fiery energy. Instead of channelling it, I used it to get what I wanted and get it fast. I had to learn the hard way that it wasn’t healthy for me to live like that.
Over time, it became obvious that this excess of fire was burning me up, and burning my relationships with others. It was really affecting my ability to welcome intimacy and vulnerability into my life, and I wasn’t very skilled at handling setbacks and challenges. Of course, I was still extremely dedicated and passionate, but I wasn’t fully in Flow.
I had to CHOOSE to turn this pattern around. I had to choose to fully shift this pattern. That was the first step: to choose and commit to turning this behaviour around.
The first step of any transformation process is to completely commit to it. No one can take the steps required for us to change. Yes, some of the patterns we have are the results of our environment and trauma which involve other people. But the reality is we are the ones in charge of our healing, and no one can take charge of it for us. Even leaders, teachers and guides are only there to show us the way, to help us along.
This is why the first step of the Quantum Flow Method is getting raw and real. From that place of total honesty, of really facing yourself, you can finally authentically choose to rewire your whole nervous system and brain – to truly change your life. It’s normal to need some assistance along the way; that’s why I invented and structured the Quantum Flow Method so that everyone could have access to a clear methodology to do just that. But you’ve got to commit.
When we get raw and real, we also get to see how we play out emotions and drama and our lives. This really isn’t about judging ourselves. Remember that all these patterns are mechanisms of defence. These are things we put in place because we felt threatened or helpless during our childhood. It’s not about judging it or repressing that part of ourselves. It’s about observing it with honesty so we can heal.
What is your inner dialogue around anger? Do you feel justified in getting angry? What are the thoughts that always come in to keep the anger going? Do you feel ashamed afterwards? Or like it’s useless to apologise for your outbursts? Or do you feel vindicated, like you defended yourself? These are the questions you want to be asking yourself. Often when we reckon with anger, we stay stuck in the space of being “right,” rather than asking ourselves if we are treating ourselves/others in the highest way.
Also, tap into how you are feeling into your body. Sometimes we don’t even raise our voice, but we can feel the shift in our energy. The vibe is changing. So if you can feel that energy coming your way, just take deep breaths and take your time. Train yourself to become sensitive to your own body and the energy around you. Don’t keep your masks on! If you’re feeling the fire burn, take responsibility and don’t hide! Facing the truth is what allows us to heal – again, there’s absolutely no need to be ashamed of your emotions. We all have our patterns to heal and reckon with. There is nothing wrong with you. You just want to learn to move forward in the best way, so that you can foster a profound relationship with yourself, your core and your passion, and with others.
For more information about Quantum Flow and our courses, check out https://quantumflow.com/.